Blanca Córdova.
Directora de Hogar,Salud y Belleza
http://saludhogarybelleza.blogspot.mx/
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5 pasos para lograr un hogar estable
Cuando decidimos formar una familia es porque tenemos la convicción y el deseo de hacerlo, no obstante el formar una familia requiere de algunos sacrificios, pues de alguna manera se obtiene el compromiso de formar “ tu propia familia”, ya no son mamá, papá y hermanos, a partir de ese momento son esposo esposa y los bebes que se decida tener.
Eso no quiere decir que se rompen los lazos
familiares que te unen con tu primer familia (o sea el ceno familiar de donde cada uno ha
salido para formar la suya) , pero si se debe estar consciente que serán menos
frecuentes las visitas por que deberás atender tu propio hogar, deberás tomar
tus propias decisiones y deberás proveer, formar y cuidar esta tu nueva
familia, y es ahí donde viene el
sacrificio si es que estamos muy unidos a nuestra primer familia.
Otro punto que también pudiera
ser un sacrificio son los amigos, las fiestas y las salidas con ellos, porque
ya no serán sus amigos y tus amigos, deberán ser nuestros amigos, ¡ah verdad!
Aquí es donde muchos
matrimonios no salen de acuerdo y es donde puede haber un poquito de mayor
problema, porque puede ser que no congeniemos con algunos de esos amigos. Por
lo que deberás tener muy en cuenta que a partir de que se toma la decisión de
formar tu nueva familia, los amigos deberán ser mutuos.
Bien, seguramente que habrá otros,
pero a mi ver estos son los que más influyen en la estabilidad o inestabilidad de un matrimonio.
1.-La aceptación.
Debemos estar conscientes que no somos,
actuamos ni pensamos igual y que habrá momentos en que aun estando juntos
necesitaremos nuestro propio espacio, esto no es malo, al contrario es muy sano y
es muy recomendable hacerlo, ese momento es tuyo, en ese momento tu podrás orar, ejercitarte, leer un buen libro, hacer
yoga, meditación o lo que tú quieras
hacer.
Eso no significa que tú no ames a tu pareja o no quieras estar con ella al contrario ese momento contigo y para ti reforzará tu deseo de estar siempre con esa persona a la cual elegiste para compartir tu vida.
2.- La tolerancia.
Definitivamente hay días que
ni uno mismo se aguanta su estado de ánimo, así que, es muy importante que cuando esto suceda el
otro sepa tolerar este estado y si puede, ayudar a que disminuya o desaparezca, si no, con solo aceptar será suficiente.
3.- El respeto.
Con ello no solo nos referimos a evitar insultarnos
o maltratarnos entre sí, ya sea de golpes o palabras altisonantes, aquí entra también
la fidelidad marital, ya que cualquiera de estas faltas puede ser y muchas de
las veces es un detonante y destructor familiar.
4.-La convivencia.
Ya decíamos que a partir de
que se obtiene el compromiso del matrimonio y se toma la decisión de formar un
hogar este deberá ser mutuo, es decir amigos en común, salidas juntos, festejos
y convivencia en pareja y cuando haya hijos ellos deben ser parte de esta convivencia,
pues ya son una familia.
5.- La comunicación.
Este es según mi punto de
vista, el más importante para que todo lo anterior funcione, definitivamente en
un matrimonio no todo es miel sobre hojuelas, ni tampoco es cierto ese cuento
de…….y vivieron felices por siempre, ni tampoco ese otro de………se casaron y
fueron muy felices.
Claro que no es verdad, lo que si es verdad, es que habrá muchísimos momentos
felices pero habrá otros que no lo serán tanto e incluso habrá situaciones de separación
temporal y muchos, muchísimos errores y
tropiezos, es aquí cuando deberán aplicarse los 5 puntos anteriores y
estos deberán ser aplicados a todos y cada uno de los miembros de la familia
que integra este nuevo hogar.
5 steps to make a stable home
When we decided to start a family is because we have the conviction and the desire to do so , notwithstanding a family requires some sacrifices , because somehow obtained the commitment to train " your own family," and not mom, dad and brothers , from the moment they are husband and wife who decide to have babies .
That does not mean breaking the family ties that bind you to your first family (ie the family have dinner where everyone has left to form their own) , but if you must be aware that they will be less frequent visits that must meet your own home , you must make your own decisions and must provide , train and care for your new family is , and that's where comes the sacrifice if we are very close to our first family.
Another point that could also be a sacrifice are the friends, parties and outings with them , because they will not be your friends and your friends should be our friends ,really ah !
This is where many marriages do not work out an agreement and is where you have a little more trouble , because you may not congenial with some of those friends. So please bear in mind that since it takes the decision to form a new family , friends should be mutual .
Well, surely there will be others , but in my opinion these are the greatest influence on the stability or instability of a marriage.
1.- acceptance.
We must realize that we are not , we act or think alike and that there are times when being together even need our own space , this is not bad , on the contrary is very healthy and it is highly recommended , the time is yours , then your you can pray , exercising , reading a good book, doing yoga , meditation or whatever you want to do.
That does not mean you do not love your partner or do not want to be with her then unlike you and for you reinforce your desire to always be with that person you chose to share your life .
Two . - Tolerance .
There are definitely days that neither oneself mood holds , so it is very important that when this happens the other knows tolerate this state and if you can, help decrease or disappear , if not , just accept will suffice.
Three . - Respect .
With this we mean not only avoid insult or mistreat each other , either by impact or big words , here comes also marital fidelity , since any of these faults can be and many times is a trigger and family destroyer .
4. - The coexistence.
We said that from obtained the commitment of marriage and the decision to make a home it must be mutual , ie mutual friends , outings together , feasting and living with a partner and children when they should be part of this coexistence , because they are already a family.
May . - Communication .
This is from my point of view , the most important for the above work, in a marriage definitely not everything is hunky-dory , nor is it true that story ....... and lived happily ever after , nor that other of ......... married and were very happy.
Sure it's not true , which if true, is that there will be many happy moments but there are others who will not even be both temporary separation situations and many, many mistakes and setbacks, this is where the 5 points should be applied prior and these should be applied to each and every member of the family that integrates this new home .
5 steps to make a stable home
When we decided to start a family is because we have the conviction and the desire to do so , notwithstanding a family requires some sacrifices , because somehow obtained the commitment to train " your own family," and not mom, dad and brothers , from the moment they are husband and wife who decide to have babies .
That does not mean breaking the family ties that bind you to your first family (ie the family have dinner where everyone has left to form their own) , but if you must be aware that they will be less frequent visits that must meet your own home , you must make your own decisions and must provide , train and care for your new family is , and that's where comes the sacrifice if we are very close to our first family.
Another point that could also be a sacrifice are the friends, parties and outings with them , because they will not be your friends and your friends should be our friends ,really ah !
This is where many marriages do not work out an agreement and is where you have a little more trouble , because you may not congenial with some of those friends. So please bear in mind that since it takes the decision to form a new family , friends should be mutual .
Well, surely there will be others , but in my opinion these are the greatest influence on the stability or instability of a marriage.
1.- acceptance.
We must realize that we are not , we act or think alike and that there are times when being together even need our own space , this is not bad , on the contrary is very healthy and it is highly recommended , the time is yours , then your you can pray , exercising , reading a good book, doing yoga , meditation or whatever you want to do.
That does not mean you do not love your partner or do not want to be with her then unlike you and for you reinforce your desire to always be with that person you chose to share your life .
Two . - Tolerance .
There are definitely days that neither oneself mood holds , so it is very important that when this happens the other knows tolerate this state and if you can, help decrease or disappear , if not , just accept will suffice.
Three . - Respect .
With this we mean not only avoid insult or mistreat each other , either by impact or big words , here comes also marital fidelity , since any of these faults can be and many times is a trigger and family destroyer .
4. - The coexistence.
We said that from obtained the commitment of marriage and the decision to make a home it must be mutual , ie mutual friends , outings together , feasting and living with a partner and children when they should be part of this coexistence , because they are already a family.
May . - Communication .
This is from my point of view , the most important for the above work, in a marriage definitely not everything is hunky-dory , nor is it true that story ....... and lived happily ever after , nor that other of ......... married and were very happy.
Sure it's not true , which if true, is that there will be many happy moments but there are others who will not even be both temporary separation situations and many, many mistakes and setbacks, this is where the 5 points should be applied prior and these should be applied to each and every member of the family that integrates this new home .
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